Cup of Coffee

DEAR DR. POPCAK: I am a devout Catholic. While my husband and three children are not as religious as I am, and often miss Sunday Mass, I do get along with them and we are a happy family. For my part I believe in moderation and harmonious relationships.

This past Lenten period I had decided to give up coffee, which I crave. A further incentive for imposing that penitence upon myself was that this beverage sometimes upsets my stomach.

However, during those 40 days I noticed that sometimes I alternated too strongly between nervousness and depression. When that happened it was easier for me to quarrel with people, and I began to wonder if I was doing the right thing.

Now that Lent and Easter are over, and I have begun to take moderate quantities of coffee again, I am my old, cheerful self again. Could it be that this whole idea of fasting is no longer applicable to us today?

First of all, fasting is the reduction of one’s intake of solid food, not drink. Your coffee penance, therefore, has nothing to do with fasting. In my response, I will first discuss fasting, and then deal with your coffee penance.

Fasting and abstinence are an ancient tradition in the Church. They are the minor discomforts we inflict on ourselves as a means of growing in virtue and greater dependence on God. The Catechism (#2043) identifies “observing the days of fasting and abstinence as practiced by the Church” as one of the Five Precepts of the Church which include attending Mass on Sundays and Holy Days, going to Confession at least once a year, receiving the Eucharist, and providing for the needs of the Church. These five precepts represent the minimum standard one must uphold to guarantee at least basic growth in faith and moral virtue. Fasting is not only applicable to modern life. It is necessary for a vital Christian spirituality.

But why? In his book, Fasting in the New Testatment, theologian Joseph Wimmer argues that fasting yields four benefits to the modern Christian. First, it frees us from becoming overly concentrated on ourselves, making us more willing to be charitable. Second, fasting connects us in a deeper way to God’s people. For instance, if I give the money I would have spent or the food I would have eaten to the poor, I am growing in love for suffering around me. Third, fasting challenges our tendency to take the gifts God has given us for granted, causing us to treat the things God gives us with greater care. Finally, fasting places us in the presence of God, making us more aware of our radical dependence on him and our need to enter into a deeper relationship with him in every way we can.

The Church, however, counsels that people who are too young, elderly, sick or infirm are – for obvious health reasons – either totally exempt from the obligation to fast, or at least obliged to choose a means of fasting that does not jeopardize their health. God does not want us to abuse our bodies even for pious purposes.

Which brings us to your question. I would suggest that any acts of penance that make us unhealthy or quarrelsome are not what God wishes for us. First, I would recommend speaking with your physician about the effect caffeine has on your body, and I would not recommend choosing coffee for future penances except under the guidance of your physician.

That said, there are other – perhaps more productive – ways to do penance. For instance, you mention that your husband and children do not attend Church and that you adopt a rather go along to get along approach to this unfortunate state of affairs in your home. As a Christian spouse and parent, there is no greater responsibility than for you to be your family’s best hope – second only to the saving power of Jesus Christ – of getting to heaven. As a penitence, I would suggest distancing yourself from the idea that your faith is a hobby practiced for your own pleasure yet fails to challenge the people around you to become who God created them to be. No, you cannot make your family love God and go to Church, but you must be the charitable, loving, persistent pebble in your husband’s and children’s shoes that reminds them how much God loves them and aches for a relationship with them. St. Monica was relentless in her quest to bring her son (eventually, St. Augustine) to Christ. Be inspired by her example. The sacrifice this effort will require from you will do more good for your soul, your husband’s soul, and the souls of your children than merely abstaining from coffee ever would. Ask God to give you the grace to distance yourself from the false peace you enjoy by failing to be an instrument of grace and transformation in your home.