Choose Joy!

A WOMAN shares a once-in-a-lifetime experience which brought her great happiness and pure joy. Amazingly, this ecstatic experience took place as she stood by her kitchen sink and hand washed dishes. “I began to play with the white fluffy suds in the dishpan,” she writes. “I dip my hands into them and I pick up a ball of tiny soap bubbles. I hold them up against the light, and in each of them I can see the brilliant colours of a miniature rainbow.” She was so overwhelmed by the beauty in the soap bubbles that she spontaneously offered this simple prayer, “Our Father in Heaven, I thank Thee, I thank Thee.” Imagine thanking God because, as you wash dishes, you can see rainbows in bubbles!

Behind that episode of joy was this history. The woman, Borghild Dahl, was legally blind for half a century. “I had only one eye,” she explains in her book I Wanted To See, “and it was so covered with dense scars that I had to do all my seeing through one small opening in the left of the eye. I could see a book only by holding it up as close to my face and by straining my one eye as hard as I could to the left.” In spite of this condition, Dahl earned two college degrees including a Master of Arts from Columbia University. Finally, when she was fifty-two years old, a new surgical procedure allowed her to see forty times better than before. Thus, a new and exciting world of loveliness opened to her, and one of the first sights she enjoyed were the rainbows in the soap bubbles.

Fortunately, we don’t have to experience a traumatic event to appreciate life and experience more pleasure. Here are eight ways to cultivate joy, be a happier person and experience the fullness of life Jesus spoke about in John 10:10 – I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Be a thanker

Go through your day – and do this every day of the week – making eye contact and saying “thank you” to each person who extends a courtesy your way. Alan Epstein, author of the book How To Have More Love In Your Life, offers this advice, “Thank someone for something. Go out of your way today to acknowledge the generosity of a person you know. It doesn’t matter if you have known this man or woman your entire life, or have just met him or her and don’t know if you will ever see the person again… Do you patronize a business establishment that always provides you with excellent service? Thank the proprietor, or tell an employee how much you appreciate the way you are treated every time you walk in… Thanking someone for a service rendered builds community, as well as friendship. It makes even the most insignificant encounters, like a stranger holding the door open for you at the deli, all the more meaningful. It’s a way for two people who will probably never know each other’s names to connect, even if for a moment.”

Alter your attitude

Your attitude can make the same event either positive or negative, pleasant or painful, welcoming or sinister. The power of the experience lies in the attitude you choose. The story is told of a man who pulled into a gas station on the outskirts of a town. While paying for his purchase he asked the attendant, “I’ve just been transferred here from another city and have never been in this part of the country before. What are people like here?” The clerk asked, “What are the people like where you came from?” The man replied, “Not so nice. In fact, they can be quite rude.” The attendant shook his head sadly, saying, “I’m afraid you’ll find the people in this community to be the same way.”

A few moments later another car pulled into the service station. While paying for his gas purchase, the second customer asked, “Excuse me, I’m moving into this area. Are the people nice here?” Again the attendant asked, “Was it nice where you came from?” The customer replied, “Oh, yes! I came from a great place. The people were friendly. This is a hard move as I hated to leave.” The attendant said, “You’ll find people to be very friendly here as well.” The first customer, still in the station and now irritated by the attendant’s conflicting reports, asked, “So what is this town really like?” The attendant shrugged his shoulders saying, “It’s all a matter of attitude. You’ll find things to be just the way you think they are.”

Choose friends wisely

“We inherit our relatives and our features and may not escape them; but we can select our clothing and our friends, and let us be careful that both fit us,” is the enlightened advice of writer Volney Streamer. Be careful in the friends you choose. Be certain they are individuals who are encouraging, inspiring and supportive rather than people who are critical, demeaning and disparaging of you. The people you put into your inner circle can make your life festive or despairing.

Have a generous spirit

 The Bible instructs us to “be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other...” (Ephesians 4:32). Make that teaching an important part of your daily life by quickly forgiving those who cause you offence or hurt. In her book, Learn To Power Think, Caterina Rando offers this reminder, “A grudge is an ugly, heavy burden to carry. You will have seen the pain it causes: relative or once-close friends who haven’t talked in years because someone did or didn’t do something, for some reason, half a lifetime ago. The cost of a grudge is like a puzzle – for ever incomplete, with one piece missing. Do not live your life with a piece missing. Forgive others.”

Avoid comparisons

A certain step toward unhappiness lies in comparing yourself to those around you. The fact is we can all identify people who appear to be better looking, more intelligent, posses more wisdom, exhibit greater natural ability, etc. All such comparisons are futile and only lead to an unhappy state. Learn to be yourself and be comfortable with who you are. Your gifts and abilities are unique and deserve to be respected and honoured. Actress Marlo Thomas tells of a time in which she was confused and disheartened with her life. In her late teens, she was struggling to become an actress and having a hard time, always being compared to her famous father, Danny Thomas. Then, one day, her father gave her a priceless present. It was a pair of old horse blinders with a little note which read, “Run your own race, baby!” That gift provided precisely the motivation and reminder she needed to be her unique self in pursuing acting. Since then, Marlo Thomas has enjoyed a highly successful career in television.

Nourish your soul

The Gospels note that Jesus took advantage of many opportunities to be present at worship, nourishing his soul – Matthew 12:9, Mark 1:21; Luke 4:16. Currently, at least 100 studies indicate that those who regularly attend religious services experience lower rates of depression, commit suicide less often, live longer, are hardier, and have a greater sense of well-being than those who don’t. “Religion gives people a reason to survive, even with illness and suffering,” said Harold Koenig, MD, director of Duke University’s Center for the Study of Religion, who has contributed numerous medical studies to the growing body of evidence showing the connection between spirituality and health. So, join in with others at a house of worship to sing, pray, clap, meditate, listen, serve and learn something new!

Live with passion

The happiest people in the world are those who pursue their tasks with passion. Not surprisingly, they are also the most productive. Living with passion is something which Martin Luther King Jr. advocated. “If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, “Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.” One who exemplifies this quality is North Dakota teacher Alice Smith, often described as the ‘Michael Jordan’ of teaching. Regarded as a highly creative teacher, Smith never gives up on a child and always finds a way to reach even the most detached or deprived student. A boy from Kosovo entered her fifth-grade class recently after having missed most of his elementary schooling. He was unable to speak English. Smith motivated her class to produce an Albanian-English dictionary for the new student. Using both Albanian and English words, the new student taught the class what is was like to live as a refugee. By the end of the year, the young man from Kosovo could read English at his grade level. Not surprisingly, Smith recently won a prestigious Fulbright fellowship.

Practice non-judgement

Think about this wisdom from Pragito Dove, author of Lunchtime Enlightment: Meditations to Transform Your Life Now at Work, At Home, at Play, “Try just looking at a flower or some other small thing for a few minutes. Don’t say ‘beautiful’ or ‘ugly’. Don’t say anything. Don’t bring in words. Simply look. The mind will feel uncomfortable; it would like you to say something. Try to just ride through this feeling. Try to just look. Start with neutral things, things that don’t hold any charge for you: a rock, a flower, a tree, the sun rising, a bird in flight, a cloud moving in the sky. Only when you have gotten used to the technique should you try it with people. As you begin to look at people without judgment, you will see more clearly and with more compassion.”