The Silent Treatment

RECENTLY a woman started getting up earlier on Sunday morning to drive across town to worship at a church which is new to her. There she enjoys the fellowship of new friends, acquaintances and even strangers. The sermons are good, thought-provoking and soul nourishing. However, upon analyzing what keeps her going back to that church she discovered a delightful surprise. What she looks forward to the most are the two minutes of guided silence that precedes the weekly worship service. For one hundred and twenty seconds, those gathered for worship are instructed to maintain deep, complete, uninterrupted silence.

That woman’s discovery of the enriching power of silence is reported by Elaine St. James, her friend and writer of the syndicated column, Simplify Your Life. St. James further reports her friend “finds herself craving those two minutes of silence all week long. So far, it’s the only complete and total downtime she has been able to carve out of her hectic schedule.”

Quiet, silence and tranquillity are qualities of life seldom enjoyed in modern times. Few people observe the Biblical command: “The Lord is in his holy Temple. Let all the earth be silent before Him.” (Habakkuk 2:20) Unless directly confronted, modern life does not leave us much room for silence. Radios blare, vehicles honk on crowded streets, phones ring incessantly and television news is a staple during evening meals. Couples raising children express concern they often go weeks without sharing a peaceful, quiet, silent moment together. More than a century ago, Irish author Oscar Wilde labelled America “the noisiest country that ever existed.”

Yet, incorporating silence into daily living is both possible and desirable. In order to make silence a presence rather than an absence, we have to earn it and work for it. The effort is worthwhile because it results in greater introspection, spiritual sensitivity, and creativity. No matter how busy and fast-paced life becomes, anyone can discover many occasions each month, each week and even each day to create nourishing silence. Here are some ways to cultivate silence.

      

The summer months

 

The warmth of July and August makes it an ideal time to take silence outdoors. One way to do this is to garden. The planting of flowers and plants is a highly meditative activity. Work on your property making it an attractive, pleasant place to spend time sitting quietly. Another way to cultivate summer silence is by exercising outside. This purges mental stress creating space for greater spiritual awareness. Bike through a forested area, jog on a mountain path, or take long solitary walks enjoying creation.

 

The value of silence

 

Begin by recognising the value of silence. This advice is offered by Bernie S. Siegel, MD, author of several best-selling books including Love, Medicine and Miracles. “We’re all so accustomed to the hustle-bustle of modern life that it’s easy to forget the beauty and importance of being still and quiet,” he notes. “Yet, it is only in times of quiet meditation, when the intellectual mind is replaced by the inner voices of your body and spirit, that life’s toughest problems can be solved – and healing and peace can be achieved.”

Dr. Siegel’s observations are borne out by research. Peter Suedfeld, PhD, an environmental psychologist at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, reports that honking horns, ringing telephones, blaring radios all can lead to fatigue, nervousness and mental distraction. However, introducing even a little bit of quiet time reduces the tension.

Subjects in Suedfeld’s studies, who spent an hour in a flotation tank completely deprived of sound and light, could concentrate more easily and displayed increased levels of creativity afterward. The experience even helped athletic performance: basketball free throws and rowing endurance both improved. Of course, anyone can reap the benefits of silence without spending time in a flotation tank. Fitting in a mere ten to fifteen minutes of silence daily will produce similar positive results.

 

Think before you speak

 

 “There is a time for everything,” declares the writer of Ecclesiastes. “A time to be silent and a time to speak.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1,7) And the apostle Paul advises: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Reflect on those Biblical statements and then do this spiritual exercise. Try to observe, analyze and restructure your speech habits. Before you speak, rapidly and routinely ask yourself these four important questions:

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  Are my words necessary?




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  Are my words true?




• 
  Are my words kind?




• 
  Are my words useful?

If every word you speak must first pass your test of being necessary, true, kind and helpful, you may find yourself speaking less frequently.

 

Turn the sound off

 

 While much about the hectic, noisy pace of life is beyond our control, there are some areas over which we do have control. Rather than fill in the natural silences of life with noise, simply turn the sound off. For example:

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  Turn off the car radio while driving.




• 
  Turn off the television while eating.




• 
  Turn off the telephone during your meditation and prayer time.




• 
  Don’t use media while exercising.




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  If you are in the habit of walking with a friend or spouse, agree not to talk for part of the walk.




• 
  Designate a ‘No TV Hour’. Set aside one hour a week or a day when no one in your family will turn on the television.

 

Learn how to meditate

 

“Be still, and know that I am God,” is the call of Psalm 46:10. In addition to pouring our concerns before God in prayer, there is great value in simply being ‘still’ or quiet in God’s presence. The 17th century mystic, Madame Jeanne Marie De La Mothe Guyon wrote, “It is impossible to live in your inmost being where Christ lives without loving silence.” Such silence in the divine presence gives us the chance to slow our pace, clear the mind, and give top priority to our relationship with God. Practicing silent meditation not only deepens our link to God, but also to ourselves. Here is one of the oldest and most basic ways to meditate. Sit quietly with your eyes closed. Pay attention to your breathing, feeling the air go in and out. When your mind drifts, go with the flow. Assess what is transpiring. Are you receiving insight? Are you experiencing joy? Are you feeling love? Are you feeling the call to a specific course of action? Do you have some sense of cleansing taking place or being healed, forgiven, etc. Try this for 10 to 15 minutes at a time.

 

Take breaks

 

Establish a regular time each day for personal silence. At first glance this may seem impossible, yet most people can easily accommodate a few minutes of quiet each day. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler Ross notes, “You will find that deep place of silence right in your room, your garden or even your bathtub.” Likewise, Dr. Siegel suggests taking 15 minutes in the morning or using work breaks to be alone with yourself. “Gaze out the window, or lie down and close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing and bodily sensations. Make arrangements with your family or colleagues not to disturb you. While this daily healing interval can take many forms, its result is the same – answers to problems and difficult situations, and a more balanced body.”

 

Spend time with nature

 

Sit silently and observe a sunset or sunrise. Listen to the wind in the trees or enjoy the scent of a flower. Spending quiet time with nature is invigorating and inspiring. The writers of Scripture spent time with nature, and that is reflected in Biblical words of profound admiration, “Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord from the heavens… Praise him sun and moon, praise him, all you shining stars. Praise him, you highest heavens.” (Psalm 148:1,3,4) “Sing for joy, O heavens, for the Lord has done this: shout aloud, O earth beneath. Burst into song, you mountains, you forests and all your trees.” (Isaiah 44:23)

One who has benefited from spending time with nature is Annie Dillard, winner of a Pulitzer Prize for her book, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek. In order to study muskrats Dillard had to be absolutely still. She not only learned about the little creatures, but learned about herself during those quiet times in nature. “For 40 minutes last night I was purely sensitive and mute as a photographic plate,” she writes. “My own self-awareness disappeared; it seems now almost as though, had I been wired with electrodes, my EEG would have been flat… I have often noticed that even a few minutes of this self-forgetfulness is tremendously invigorating. I wonder if we do not waste most of our energy just by spending every waking minute saying hello to ourselves.”

 

Private moments

 

Today’s families are extremely busy. Often both parents work and then spend after-school hours chauffeuring children to various events – sports, music, religious and civic activities. Often the family pace is as hectic as work hours, and can leave partners feeling detached from each other. Establish a daily or weekly ritual of quiet time together in order to renew and remain connected. In his book, Born For Love, Leo Buscaglia shares how his parents structured renewing silence into their marriage. “Papa and Mama had a wonderful escape from the endless chatter of their children,” he writes. Each evening while the Buscaglia children performed household chores, such as washing the dishes, cleaning the kitchen floor, and putting away leftovers, they would wander out into the night for an hour’s walk. “Though we all cried to accompany them, this was clearly designated as their private time. When we asked them what they did on these walks, they assured us that they didn’t do anything. They just walked, looked at the stars, enjoyed the stillness and the pleasure of each other’s company.”

 

Spiritual retreats

 

Many churches, denominations and religious groups offer spiritual retreats lasting anywhere from an evening to a weekend and even longer. Look over some of their literature and be sure that some space for silence is built into the program. Begin with something which feels comfortable for your own spiritual style. A week long silent retreat may be much more than you can deal with, but perhaps an evening or daylong retreat would be a good start.

 

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Finally, when incorporating more silence into your life, be inspired by these words from 19th century writer William Arthur Ward, “The greatest ideas, the most profound thoughts, and the most beautiful poetry are born from the womb of silence.”