Into Solitude

IN THE UNITED STATES, the average 27 year old spends about 8 hours per day on smartphones and electronic media. This includes everything from chatting, viewing websites, working, and being entertained. Most young people find this constant noisy barrage comforting. In contrast, youth find silence disconcerting if it lasts longer than 6.3 seconds. In a noise-saturated world, such people find it remarkable that some people not only like silence but actually seek it.

After his disappointing excursion to Morocco, 27-year-old Anthony sought silence and seclusion. Let’s imagine how that may have happened.

A cosy cell

Brother Giulio grinned as he peered into one of the natural grottos scattered about Montepaolo. Even as a boy, Giulio could imagine structures others never dreamed of, and, while he wasn’t much older than a boy right now, he felt as if he were as wise as a graybeard. This was precisely the type of grotto he’d been seeking in which to build a cell for prayer and woodworking – winding, narrow, and within hearing distance of the hermitage bell, yet secluded enough that the other brothers wouldn’t drop in to chat. If they wanted him, they’d have to climb a little cliff to reach him.

Stooping, he entered the grotto and within a few minutes had planned exactly how to build the cell despite the rocks and small boulders littering the grotto. As he constructed the walls, he simultaneously cleared the grotto floor so that he could safely store his tools and shelter them from the weather. Two days later, the cell was complete and Giulio’s tools were arranged neatly nearby.

Days passed as Giulio happily prayed in his cell, then worked on crafting a stool. Everything was smooth and ready for assembly when Giulio realized that he was missing an auger to create the holes into which to insert the stool legs. He must have overlooked the small, spiral-shaped tool when he brought the other implements up here. He bounded down the cliff to fetch it. When he returned, that new friar, Father Anthony, was loitering about the mouth of the grotto.

“Brother Artisan, am I trespassing? Is this your grotto?”

Giulio laughed. “Father, you know we own nothing. How can this be mine?”

Anthony grinned. “You’re using it, it seems.” Giulio nodded.

Father Anthony leaned against a wall of the grotto. Was he feeling weak? Anthony always seemed frail to Giulio when he attended his Mass.

“I’ve been looking for a place like this,” Anthony said. “A place to know, thirst for, and embrace Christ – Him crucified.”

Giulio sensed the longing in the quiet voice. How could a priest want to know, thirst for, and embrace Christ? How could he be a priest if he wasn’t already doing that?

“Would you consider letting me use this? I know it’s yours, but…”

“No, it’s yours, Father. This is too far for me to carry the tools I need and the furniture I make. Down the cliff is another grotto I’d considered.”

“I think I know the one. But it has no little cell in it. You built this one, didn’t you?”

“I did.”

“I’m not sure I could do that. At least not this well.”

“No need to do that, Father. I can build another quickly in the lower grotto. It will be easier for me to carry the tools I need there.”

The two men were facing each other, but Giulio was looking down at the priest while the priest was gazing upward at him.

“Father, look at yourself. And look at me. I know I’m younger than you but I’m sure a lot taller and bigger and stronger, wouldn’t you say?”

Anthony laughed. “I wouldn’t want to pick a fight with you, Brother.”

“We have an understanding then. You use this grotto or I’ll beat you.”

“I think I must agree to that offer,” Anthony grinned.

Fasting and abstinence

Thus, Giulio carried the heavier tools and wood down to the lower grotto while Anthony followed with the smaller, lighter pieces. Within two days, Giulio had his cell constructed and the work area completed. This grotto was just as quiet as the one he’d left, and he heard nothing from the cell further up the cliff. The only noise Anthony made was his feet scuffling dry leaves when he began the descent to attend the next event on the hermitage schedule.

Two weeks later, Giulio felt a gnawing concern. He was grateful that Anthony was above him because the priest had to pass by Giulio’s grotto on the way to prayer, Mass, and dinner. However, Anthony was much weaker than Giulio imagined. The first time Anthony descended the cliff, he almost fell. Two days later, he tumbled. Giulio helped him rise, but Anthony seemed to grow less sure-footed as the days passed. Giulio began to wait for the priest before heeding the bell’s call. Thereafter, Anthony often came to Mass, prayer, or the refectory supported by Giulio.

Giulio knew that Anthony had been recovering from illness when he arrived at Montepaolo. But time was passing; he should have been growing stronger, not weaker, unless…

One winter morning, when Anthony slipped in the newly fallen snow, Giulio asked this troubling question. “Father, are you eating anything other than that bread and water which you carry up there every morning?”

“You know I go to the refectory with everyone else.”

“But I don’t see you eat there.”

When Anthony didn’t respond, Giulio grew concerned. That afternoon, he sought Brother Leonardo, the superior. “I don’t think he’s eating anything but that bread and water he brings up to his cell,” Giulio confided.

“Fasting and abstinence are ways to subdue the body, Brother.”

“But can’t they be too extreme? I don’t think he’d make it back to his cell if I didn’t help him.”

“I’ll speak to him.”

Giulio hesitated before speaking. “I saw a flagellum in his cell.”

“He’s using the discipline?”

“I would think so, Brother.”

“He’s never fallen or stumbled while offering Mass.”

That was true. Anthony must have a strong will to keep going despite weakness. “I’ll speak to him, Giulio. Thank you for alerting me.”

Meditation

The first biography of Saint Anthony details how he asked an unnamed brother for use of a cell which he had constructed in a grotto at Montepaolo. In that first biography, the Assidua, an eyewitness tells how Anthony was so weak from abstinence and fasting that the friars had to hold him up as he walked back to his cell. Later biographies mention his use of “the discipline,” a form of bodily penance common in the spirituality of the time. What we would consider excessive fasting and severe bodily penance were then considered exemplary means to subdue the body and the spirit and surrender them to God.

How do you practice self-denial in your daily life? Can you sometimes give up something you enjoy and use that time or money to help someone else? Do you make room for silence and prayer away from your phone and other distractions? Where do you find the quiet you need to listen to God? Can Anthony’s example inspire you to create a little more space for God each day?