Refocus Your Christmas

ROSA, speaking with her best friend, laments, “Sometime in early December I begin to feel it – seasonal insanity! Too much expense. Too many parties. Too much food. Too much drinking. Too commercial. Too exhausting. This month I feel little joy, but large stress. Is this really what the Christmas holidays are all about?”

Of course, that’s not what Christmas is all about. Generating true inner peace during the holiday is a simply a matter of taking charge and making the decision to focus on the true reason for the season. Here are ten steps to a less stressful, more spiritual holiday.

 

Take a spiritual holiday

 

“The holy season is a profound and powerful time to commit ourselves to new beginnings, to start new practices, to choose again what we want planted in our heart for the coming year”, notes editor and author Susan L. Taylor. She learned this truth during a time when the holidays filled her with a “longing – not for things, but for a spiritual experience of the season”. Taylor was tired of stressful holidays which left her “feeling excited but exhausted, full yet empty, surrounded by family but lonely”. So she committed herself to finding ways of being at peace with herself and her family, to feeling greater love and joy, and to having a deeper connection with the meaning of the season. As a result, her holidays have become a highly anticipated season. Now, she invites others to join her in intentionally choosing “peace and joy and making a point to express love in ways that go deeper than the material gifts we may give. Let’s practice kindness and forgiveness, and have compassion for the folks who try our patience the most. Let’s love when it isn’t easy. Let’s open our hearts”.

 

Be like Mary

 

Though Mary was a frightened, single mother, she chose to nurture the life growing within her. Be like Mary and nurture the spiritual life growing within you. St. Paul described this as the ‘Christ in you’ (Colossians 1:27). Use the season and its ample opportunities to permit Christ to grow and enlarge in your life. Bishop Fulton J. Sheen often reminded people to let “God do in your soul what Mary let Him do to her body, namely, let Christ be formed in you... As He was physically formed in her, so He wills to be spiritually formed in you. If you knew He was seeing through your eyes, you would see in every fellowman a child of God. If you knew that He worked through your hands they would bless all the day through... If you knew that He wants to use your mind, your will, your fingers, and your heart, how different you would be”.

 

Non-material gifts

 

Think more about non-material gifts. “You don’t need money to embrace the abundance of this sacred season”, says Rev. T. D. Jakes, an author and pastor in Texas. “During the holidays and all the days afterward, give something greater than what can be bought with money”. Some ways of doing that include visiting someone who is clearly lonely; volunteering at your church or a homeless shelter or at a women’s centre; inviting a person for a meal. “Rather than engage solely in superficial festivities, we can choose instead to dig deep into our own humanity displaying our good will and getting back to the simplicity of holy days that highlight, above all, a peasant boy born in a manager but destined to make a difference in a world so much in need of light,” Rev. Jakes says.

 

Work on yourself  

 

A great deal of tension occurs during the holidays when family members get together with one member trying to ‘fix’ another. Work on yourself, not on others. Resist any urge to criticize, correct, attack, belittle, or pass judgment on a family member or friend. Adhere to this wisdom from Mikhail Baryshnikov: “I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself”. Rather than criticize or compete against someone, try the Baryshnikov approach and ‘compete’ with yourself only during this holiday season by asking yourself these types of questions:

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  Can I be a little more patient with my impossible to please mother-in-law?




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  Can I be a little kinder toward an obnoxious brother?




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  Can I be a little more loving toward my partner?




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  Can I be a little more helpful to a sister?




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  Can I be a little more compassionate toward my uncle?




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  Can I be a little more understanding of my mother?




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  Can I be better today than I was yesterday?




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  Can I be a little more forgiving toward a hurtful relative?




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  Can I be a little less judgmental?

 

Set specific goals

 

Early in December sit quietly to establish specific spiritual goals for yourself during the holy season. “Last year I wanted to have a more meaningful holiday”, says Ricardo, an accountant in England. “So, right on December 1, I spent an evening thinking about ways to do that and then put it down in writing. This was my holiday spiritual goal list: To pray daily for a minimum of ten minutes; to smile at everyone I encountered; to read daily from scripture or other spiritually edifying literature; to send a sizeable Christmas gift check to a group working with the poor in my city; to write a thank you note to someone who helped me in the past.

 

Nurture your spirit

 

When we are in a good place emotionally and spiritually things tend to go more smoothly during various holiday festivities. Spiritual self-care can reduce stressful feelings and even eliminate them completely. Consider Anna, who annually hosts her ever increasing family gathering. “On Christmas eve, the entire extended family – now numbering nearly 25 people – comes to my home for our holiday meal. I prepare appropriately and then, an hour before the first guests arrive, I absent myself from the house and take a thirty-minute meditative walk alone. During that time I soak in the wonder of winter nature as I meditate, pray, and reflect on how blessed my life is and has been. This allows me to centre down and exude a genuinely positive spiritual tone for the evening and for everyone present.”

 

Make room at the Inn

 

One December in rural New Mexico, a severe snow blizzard struck stranding holiday travellers on an isolated highway. Living nearby were Randy Glover who was talking to his wife, Christine, on a two way radio. As they spoke, the radio picked up a voice of a stranger who explained he and his family were stranded in their car on the highway. Realizing they were only 200 yards away, but unable to see the Glover house because of blinding snow, Randy radioed directions. The family of six made it into the comfort and safety of the Glover home. Then, Randy learned there were other vehicles stuck on the road so, putting on ski goggles, he went out inviting the stranded into their home. One by one, the travellers, entered. Eventually 44 of them came ranging in age from 4 to over 70. Frightened, frustrated and tired, they were warmly welcomed and fed from two huge pots of bubbling chili. One of the stranded was a grocery delivery driver who, given the extreme circumstances, removed grocery items from his truck so all could be fed until the roads were cleared two days later. This story is a reminder to ‘make room at the inn’. During the holiday when it is customary for people to be with family and friends, open your home to someone who is unable to be with others.

 

Practice compassion

 

Train yourself to see Christ in the poor. That was the wish of Jesus who said, “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25:40). The poor – those whose lives are in struggle mode – are all around us yet we often don’t notice or refuse to see them. One woman tells of walking by a homeless man several times while rushing about doing Christmas shopping. While leaving a shopping mall, she noticed an impeccably dressed ‘classy man’ also leaving and was surprised when he stopped to speak with the homeless man. Listening she heard the man offer a “merry Christmas” to the homeless youth and then press some money into his hand. It was an important lesson to the woman, who said, “I didn’t even want to make eye contact with the homeless man, but this gentleman reached out to him, greeted him, touched him and gave him money. Through witnessing that act, I immediately gained a deeper understanding of compassion”.

 

Eat some vegetarian meals

 

Remember that animals were the first to see the Baby Jesus. In many cultures, Christmas eve dinner is meatless as a way of honouring animals present at the birth of Christ. In fact, consider preparing a vegetarian meal for one of your holiday celebrations. One family does this for their gathering preparing soup, salad, homemade breads, vegetarian lasagna, and pies for dessert.

 

Bring joy

 

As you go through the holiday season, bring love, peace and joy to your part of the world. Be guided by this definition of love from St. Augustine: “What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks like”. Be love in action. This will truly bring joy to your world.