Ordered Joy

DEAR Mr. Pfister, I’m feeling anxious about the upcoming holidays and how to maintain a sense of balance – especially when it comes to my prayer life and eating habits. Every year, particularly during Thanksgiving and the Christmas season, I find myself drifting away from my spiritual routines and overindulging in sweets and other seasonal foods. How can I finally approach this season with more intentionality? And how can I carry the disciplines I practice during Advent into the entire Christmas season?

The holiday season can be especially challenging – it often disrupts our routines and can lead to spiritual inconsistency and overindulgence if we’re not intentional. I appreciate your desire to approach this time with greater purpose; that intention is key to navigating the season well and maintaining the practices you built during Advent.

One powerful tool from Catholic tradition that can help is adopting a Rule of Life. Rooted in the Latin word regula, meaning “straightedge” or “rule,” a Rule of Life is a thoughtful and intentional framework for daily living. It provides structure and rhythm, guiding our habits in a way that promotes both spiritual and personal growth – especially during busy or celebratory times like the holidays or various celebratory liturgical seasons. Contemporarily and historically, religious communities model how a Rule of Life can be embraced and lived out with intention and faithfulness.

To begin creating your own Rule of Life, start by identifying specific areas in which you feel called to grow. This can be applied broadly or focused on specific behaviors we wish to address and improve. A broad approach might involve setting a consistent daily prayer rhythm – such as praying the Angelus at 6:00am, 12:00pm, and 6:00pm – with the goal of integrating this practice into your everyday routine. A more specific approach, on the other hand, could address particular challenges, such as remaining faithful to prayer while hosting family or exercising temperance with holiday treats. This more focused method is often used when a general Rule of Life is already in place and you’re looking to adapt it to meet a particular circumstance or area of growth. Regardless of the approach you decide to take, these goals become the foundation of your Rule of Life.

Next, distinguish between negotiables and non-negotiables. Negotiables are important habits that can be flexible – for instance, planning to attend Eucharistic Adoration once during the Christmas season. The day or time can be negotiated based on the unpredictability of life at any given time. Non-negotiables, on the other hand, are daily commitments that shape your rhythm – such as praying the Holy Rosary each day or setting a limit on how many desserts you’ll allow yourself to consume at an event, such as a family Christmas party. These practices help ground you, minimize impulsive decisions, and foster consistency.

Your Rule of Life can be as simple or as detailed as you’d like. The goal isn’t perfection, but intention. Leave room for flexibility – life will always bring surprises, and your rhythm should support you, not burden you. I would encourage you to establish your general Rule of Life before the holidays begin. That way, you’ll enter the season with a rhythm already established – equipped to live with greater intentionality and better prepared to avoid or overcome the behaviors you’re hoping to change this year.