Time with God

Dear Mr. Pfister, I would like to grow closer to God and spend more time in prayer. I continually make personal resolutions to draw closer to Him and to pray more often, but I struggle to maintain these resolutions for longer than a few days or weeks. I struggle with building new habits generally, but it tends to be an even larger uphill climb when it comes to prayer and my spiritual life. My life is very busy with work and family responsibilities, and I simply don’t have the ability to spend hours praying each day. While this is true, I recognize it’s also an excuse. How do I build healthier and more consistent habits around my prayer?

Your desire to grow closer to God is both a beautiful gift and a loving invitation from Him. Psychologically, many of us view setting aside time for prayer as a challenge that requires finding more time in our jam-packed day. With this mentality, it becomes easy to make sincere resolutions to pray more, but the result is that it lasts only a short time before we’re back to the drawing board looking for a new plan. In this mindset, prayer becomes a task to be checked off my to-do list. So how do we challenge this mentality and find more success?

One of the keys to making new behaviors stick and become ingrained habits is found in what is referred to as habit stacking. Habit stacking is simply combining an old habit with the new habit you desire to build. For instance, suppose one of my first morning routines is reading the newspaper while enjoying a cup of coffee. A simple way to build a new habit is to place my Rosary next to the newspaper, serving as a reminder to pick it up and pray. By linking the new practice to an existing habit, it becomes easier for the new behavior to take root and become part of my routine.

While this approach may help us build better habits, it doesn’t address the lingering feeling that there isn’t enough time in the day. Let’s turn to the saints for insight. St. Teresa of Avila spoke about a simple form of prayer called “Recollection.” Recollection is the awareness of God’s presence in a given moment. The saints encourage us to practice this throughout the day, gradually increasing our attentiveness to Him. God is always present; it is our awareness of Him that often fades.

Instead of trying to carve out more time in your day, start by seeking God within your day – developing the habit of turning your thoughts to Him and recognizing His presence in your soul. In this way, you’ll not only spend more time with Him, but you’ll likely find yourself desiring more because of its fruitfulness. Start cultivating recollection by using habit stacking – integrating this practice into the routines you already follow each day.

As a result, don’t be surprised if your priorities begin to shift – and God and prayer are at the top of the list. Be even less surprised if, amidst your busy schedule, you begin to feel as though the time in your day is increasing – making more room for God and prayer. The following quotation has been attributed to St. Josemaria Escriva, “Give God time in prayer, and He will make time available in your day.”