Taming the Tummy

DEAR Mr. Pfister, I’m currently in my third year of college and have struggled with overeating – especially during stressful times like before major projects or finals – as a way of coping emotionally. I want to develop virtue to help me moderate my eating habits and manage stress more effectively. However, I’m unsure where to begin in creating a plan or understanding how to grow in virtue. Where should I start, and how can I create a plan that will help me overcome overeating and respond to stress in healthier ways?

First of all, I want to commend your self-awareness and your desire to grow in virtue. It takes maturity and humility to recognize the need to address certain habits, especially those tied to emotional responses like overeating. Many people struggle with unhealthy coping mechanisms, but few take the time to intentionally reflect on the root causes and seek a healthier, more virtuous path forward. You’re already beginning the journey simply by asking these questions.

While there are many possible starting points for addressing overeating and stress, one of the most foundational and fruitful approaches is to begin by asking the question: Why? Why do I tend to overeat in stressful situations – like before a big exam or when I’m overwhelmed by deadlines? What am I seeking in those moments?

Behaviors like overeating are often attempts to satisfy a deeper need such as comfort, joy, or a sense of control. For example, if you’re using food to escape nervousness or to bring a brief sense of happiness during a stressful time, the next step is to ask: What am I really seeking here? And how else might I satisfy this desire in a healthier way?

This is where it’s helpful to reflect on past experiences. What has brought you joy or relief from stress in a way that left you feeling better afterward, not worse? Perhaps it was taking a walk, talking to a friend, praying, listening to music, or journaling. Identifying these positive alternatives gives you concrete tools to draw from next time you feel overwhelmed.

At this point, the virtue of prudence becomes especially important. Prudence is the ability to see clearly the right means to a good end. It helps you recognize when a behavior like overeating isn’t serving your true good, and then guides you to choose a better course of action. For instance, if you know that nighttime is a vulnerable moment, prudence might prompt you to plan ahead: decide in advance what you’ll eat, how much, and even where you’ll eat. You might also build in an activity for the evening – something that brings joy without turning to food.

Through these intentional actions, you begin to form the virtue of temperance – which is the habit of moderating pleasures and keeping them in proper balance. Temperance doesn’t reject enjoyment, but it places it within the context of your overall well-being, including in relation to food.

Over time, with repeated practice, your responses to stress can change. Instead of relying on food as a coping mechanism, you’ll begin to build healthier habits. With a clear understanding of your motivations, thoughtful planning and consistent action, you can grow not only in self-control, but in virtue – learning to respond to life’s challenges as the person God created you to be.