Closer Together

Dear Mr. Pfister: I am the mother of three children, and lately I have been struggling to feel connected with them. Between work, school, sports, and the distractions of technology, our conversations are often limited to schedules and responsibilities. I pray for my children every day and ask God to guide me in raising them with love and faith. Still, I worry that I spend so much time managing our busy lives that I miss opportunities to be present with them. I want my children to know they are deeply loved and that our home is a place where they can always turn. How do I build stronger relationships with my children while keeping Christ at the center of our family?

I want to commend your motherly heart and the good desires God has placed within it. Many parents share this same concern. Although their children are physically close, the demands of work, school, sports, and technology can make genuine connection feel surprisingly difficult. Your desire to strengthen your relationship with your children is itself a sign of your love for them and your desire to faithfully live your vocation as a mother.

The Church reminds us that parents are the primary educators of their children. Yet this vocation is lived not only through formal instruction but through the ordinary moments of family life. Meals shared together, conversations in the car, laughter around the kitchen table, and bedtime prayers all become opportunities to form our children’s hearts and teach them the Faith through your lived example.

Rather than focusing on elaborate family activities, I would encourage you to begin with small, intentional habits. Relationships are rarely strengthened by grand gestures but by consistent moments of connection; even setting aside fifteen minutes each day communicates to a child that they are valued. Ask questions that invite conversation, such as, “What was the hardest part of your day?” Listen without trying to solve any problems they mention. Children simply want to feel understood.

Allow prayer to become a source of unity within your home. Ending the day with a simple family prayer, thanking God for the blessings you have received and entrusting tomorrow to His care, reminds children that God is present in every aspect of life. Reading a passage from the Gospels together and attending Holy Mass helps them see that faith is not reserved for Sundays but is meant to permeate daily life.

Just as importantly, remember that children learn as much from what we do as from what we say. When they witness you asking forgiveness after making a mistake, extending kindness to others, or trusting God during difficult moments, they encounter both an example of faith and true charity and human connection.

Research in psychology shows that children are more likely to retain their faith into adulthood when families build regular habits of connection, pray together, and live their faith at home. These same practices also serve to strengthen the bond between parents and their children.

Finally, entrust your family to the Holy Family. Ask for their intercession that your home may become a place where each person feels known, loved, and drawn ever closer to Christ. Trust that the God who has called you to the beautiful vocation of motherhood will also provide the grace to live it faithfully.